God in My House Vision Blog
In my previous post – “So You Think You’re Falling in Love… Now What?” – a lot was still up in the air. You had to get to know your love interest for who they really are. You’ve developed a friendship where you feel you know her/him as well as can be expected.
NOW you BELIEVE you’ve met Ms./Mr. Right and want to begin a dating courtship. They’re the one! It’s marriage all the way! What's some sound advice?
My biggest advice is to seek out options that explore the engagement/marital relationship...
Some churches offer this. An experienced mentor couple is also an excellent choice. This can be done even before the engagement (wise option, especially for very young couples). Once you do make the promise to marry – the engagement! – premarital counselling is a must. And prayer should never be far from you, especially praying together (a great habit to develop even now).
No matter how much you and your honey seem to have it all together, it’s never that simple. Guaranteed, the time will come when you wish you had. Not that premarital counselling will miraculously solve everything – and you need a good Christian counsellor - but you’re afforded practical tools to help you through the inevitable pitfalls.
Please set boundaries for yourself, if you desire to honour God's will and command about sex (1Corinthians 6 & 7). Don’t ever think you can “handle it." This would be your first mistake. It doesn’t matter that you’re “going steady” or engaged. Heavy petting or fondling, deep kissing, etc., especially behind closed doors, will most likely lead to one thing – sex. This is especially true if you were sexually active in a previous relationship. We’re wired that way; and, even the Apostle Paul, with his message of sexual purity, would have a hard time.
Remember, your commitment to God is first, which means sexual purity of body and thought – even if you’ve already been down that road. Respect for yourself and your sweetheart is paramount, next to your respect and, yes, fear of God. You want to make sure your commitment to “become one flesh” with your love literally happens after you’ve made those legal/moral/spiritual vows with your words and heart. Sometimes, even at the last moment, breakups happen, and the one you were supposedly “saving” yourself for has already taken a part of you and is now on the run… away from the relationship.
Even more importantly, the sex act is more than just a physical joining. There’s also an effect on the soul. There’s also the possibility of conception, regardless of which contraception is used. That kind of intimacy is best left to a committed marital relationship. It’s God’s way, and He knows best.
After all, isn’t the marital relationship supposed to be more than sex? It’s also an intimacy of friendship, family, sharing, commitment… of ONENESS. Above all, it’s an earthly reflection of God’s ultimate plan for Christ and the Bride of Christ, the Church.
You’ve met the one? Are you sure? Then do all you can to make sure you succeed for better or for worse.
Our son and fiancee's engagement
Next blog: "So the Wedding is Over . . ."
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