Jennies' Blog - The Unseen
Our only son is getting married, so I decided to revive my relationship blogs.
I believe he's found Miss Right. But, unfortunately, not everyone is so blessed. In these increasingly confusing times, many young people need reassurance and direction.
It’s amazing what happens when someone experiences Cupid’s arrow. Suddenly the object of their affection is seen through rose-coloured glasses – as they say – and most common sense goes out the window, until the person wakes up and wonders how they got so involved with Miss Wrong. Well, I’ve got some safe guards for you.
Cupid’s arrow is as old as time. Boy meets girl. Woman meets man. If you’re fortunate, it’s not drop-dead love at first sight. It’s usually just a stirring interest that may or may not increase over time.
The “stirring interest” is more prudent, in that it’s easier to maintain your right mind and not make rash decisions. “Drop-dead love,” on the other hand, needs a definite cooling-off period before it’s determined to be “real love” – meaning the kind that will stand the test of time.
For stirring interest, I tell my adult kids, get to know the person on a friendly term, at first. See them as people who have strengths and weaknesses. Avoid romantic intimacy until you know you actually like this person and are not just infatuated. After all, we could become infatuated with the devil - who comes as an angel of light - if we don’t know who he really is. Ask trusted family, friends or acquaintances to “see” them for you, as they’ll be more objective than you. Be informed about their family life and background.
The drop-dead love must cool down. No one can see the real person while living on cloud nine. Follow the same principles as mentioned above: forcing yourself to be just a friend, until you know what the object of your pounding affection is really like. You may need friends and family to help you stay on track, and be prayerful. Believe me, a cooling down will come. And, for heaven’s sake, don’t avoid the person. This will only prolong their “perfect” image, since you won’t really get to know them through avoidance; hence, prolonging the infatuation stage.
Above all, they need to share your love for Christ – very important. His plan is so much more than any arrows Cupid might shoot your way.
And, yes, I believe in courtship dating, not just dating for the sake of having a fling with the guy or girl at your side. Outside of that, guys and girl can still have social fun together without all the baggage of wasted, shallow romance. Some guys may not want to know the Bible’s instructions about how to treat women they have no intention of marrying. Same goes for how girls treat guys. It’s supposed to be like brother and sister ( 1Timothy 5:1-2).
When you’re of age where marriage can reasonably be assumed, and you meet and become friends with the one who you think is “the one,” then courtship dating means, I see a possible marriage future with you.
And since God knows each person best, make sure to ask His opinion. He has a way of bringing to light the necessary things needed to know about each other. And carefully consider your parents’ opinions. Most want the best for you and can see objectively what you won’t about the object of your affection. So, goodbye Cupid’s arrow, and welcome Light of God!
Our son & fiancee
Here’s to Love!
Watch for future posting about what happens after you’re sure it’s Mr./Ms. Right.
Next blog: "So Now You've Met Ms./Mr. Right..."
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